Posted by Setting boundaries adds to your personality one way or the other. Others get to know what you will or won’t do, tolerate or won’t tolerate, and probably what you like or dislike.
Let me share my thoughts on setting healthy boundaries using scenarios I have modified and expanded from one of the most profound speakers I’ve ever listened to, Jim Rohn.
Here we go:
- Scenario 1: Someone who detests or dislikes you puts something harmful in your coffee.
- Scenario 2: A very good friend puts something harmful in your coffee (because it’s your good friend, let’s give the benefit of the doubt by assuming it was done in naivety or by mistake).
Now, to the critical part. But before that, let’s read the scenarios once more.
What comes to mind? Does the second scenario make your coffee less poisonous because it was a good friend? or further, because it was a mistake?
I think we both agree it’s a NO. We can apply the theory of deontological ethics here. This implies that regardless of the scenarios or persons, the action— putting something harmful in your coffee— is condemned.
Let’s add a third scenario.
- Scenario 3: Your good friend puts something
not harmfulbut unwanted, like salt, in your coffee.
Then we can apply the theory of consequentialism here. All three scenarios have the same result. That is, the consequence of all three scenarios is, that you cannot drink that coffee.
The coffee I keep referring to is your LIFE. And its actions and their consequences.
So on the terrain of friendship, learn to say “No“. Learn to say “Yes, but with the following conditions“. Learn to say “Give me some time to think about it“.
And don’t just make critical decisions on the whim of emotions or relatedness, which definitely have mirages of certainty.
Please protect your coffee and be safe.
Bye,
James.